“Ahem.”
She looked around vaguely for a moment before her eyes
found the source of the disturbance.
“Mrs. Randall, I’ll ask you again, can you tell us the
role of Dr. Olson’s procedures in the tragedy of January seventeenth?”
She furrowed her brow, looked at the lawyer, then the
judge and then back to the lawyer, “If you really want me to…”
“We really do,” said the judge.
***
With that, Mrs. Patricia Randall explained why she and
her husband went to see Dr. Robert Olson. They’d been married for over ten
years and finally decided that they weren’t going to have children. Her husband,
Jake, was going to have a vasectomy so that she wouldn’t have to keep taking
birth control.
They’d gone in to see the doctor, but since they
didn’t have any children, there were a series of talks, evaluations and
confirmations required. First, the nurse talked to them for a long time, asking
them if they were really sure that they didn’t want kids. Then the doctor came
in and asked the same questions. Finally they were sent off for a psychiatric
evaluation, separately, and asked the same questions.
It’s not as if their parents and friends and sometimes
complete strangers hadn’t grilled them already with the standard litany of
questions.
“Who will take care of you when you’re older?”
“Don’t you like kids?”
“What about the future?”
“You’d make great parents. Why won’t you do it for the
kids?”
And of course, “Isn’t that selfish of you?”
But still, after all the cajoling and interrogation by
friends, family, nurses, doctors and psychiatrists, they still came to the same
conclusion. Jake and Patty didn’t want kids. The vasectomy was performed, Jake recovered
in a few days and the couple went on with life as usual. Jake went back to work
selling computers and Patty continued with her travel agency – yes, some people
still use travel agents.
Months later, after they’d forgotten about the
procedure, they received a letter from Dr. Robert
Olson. It was vague, but in it, they were invited to
discuss the results of the vasectomy with him, in private.
Jake worried that something was wrong, reasoning that
doctors don’t invite you to talk in private if they aren’t telling you that you
have cancer or something. Patty reassured him, but she didn’t delay in making
the appointment with Dr. Olson.
When they arrived at the address, they both noticed
that it was a much nicer building than the clinic where the original procedure
happened. The landscaping was immaculate and the waiting room had real, wooden
furniture instead of pressboard and veneer. The magazines were even recent and
unmarked by crayons and jam-encrusted toddler fingers.
They both settled in for a long wait, standard
operating procedure for their usual doctor visits. So they were surprised when
the nurse called them back the moment the clock struck ten-thirty – the time of
their appointment. Stepping into Dr. Olson’s office, they both gawked at the
dark, wood shelves lining the walls and filled with leather-bound books. The mahogany
desk centered on the far wall was wreathed by light from the French doors.
Later Jake remarked that it felt like they were walking into Mr. Burns’ office
at the nuclear power plant. The only thing missing was a stuffed polar bear in
the corner.
“Please come in, sit down,” Dr. Olson said. “I’m so
happy you came.”
After they shook hands and settled in to the plush
chairs, the doctor addressed the reason for his letter.
“The two of you are the perfect candidates.
After all our searching and researching, we’re so happy to have finally found
you.” ***
Read the rest of the story here.

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